Those2geeks’ Weblog

What a piece of crap.

Every now and then, I like to entertain myself with a flick I know will suck. Not sure what it is, but I just get a kick out of watching bad stuff sometimes. D-War aka Dragon Wars falls into that realm.

From what I know, D-Wars is a Korean made film, with American actors and dialogue, set in the United States, namely, Los Angeles. There’s a girl, a guy, the guy’s mentor, a bad guy, and of course…the FBI. I would give them names, but who cares really?

Girl and guy are basically previous lovers in another lifetime, namely Korea hundreds or thousands of years ago (again, who cares?). The girl has some kind of destiny to stop the evil dinosaur sized snakes of the time, but fails, and the earth is doomed to be roamed by these snakes again in the next thousand years. Guy and girl are reincarnated, and with the help of the guy’s mentor, must stop the uber sized snake and it’s evil army that bares striking resemeblance to Sauron’s army of LOTR.

The uber snake and army basically tear the crap out of Downtown LA looking for the girl. I’ll admit, it looked pretty cool, but that’s it.

After escaping LA, guy and girl end up being captured by the evil army. All I remember is that at one point, there were outside LA, they were captured, girl blacks out, and then she wakes up in what looks like Mordor in Middle Earth (LOTR reference). I kid you not people, they end up in front of a Mordor looking castle, in the middle of nowhere. As she is about to be sacrificed, the guy unleashes some kind of super energy from his super necklace he got from his super mentor. This kills just about everybody in the evil army (I estimated about 10,000 evil minions and creatures), with the exception of the uber snake. Uber snake goes to kill girl, but then a good uber snake comes from nowhere to fight the evil snake. They fight and fight, and in what seems like the good snake’s last dying moments, the girl merges with the good snake, forming… a dragon, yeah, a dragon. And not your standard dragon, it looks exactly like the ones you see in ancient asian folklore.

So the battle wages on, and of course the dragon wins. The girl however is dead, but her spirit lives on. The guy is saddened of course, cause that’s his soulmate or whatever.

Watching this movie will give you that “WTF!” feeling. But not the WTF you get out of seeing The Matrix for the first time, its more like the WTF you get from watching a cow get slaughtered, then eating a hamburger. Do I recommend this film? Hell no. Even just to pass the time? I’d rather dip my balls in acid. The End.